Its called The Rat Race for a reason! Celebrate making it through the day in style with this awesome doormat – ideally there will be a crowd of people cheering your name and an ice cool beer awaiting you, but the matt will do!
$32.00 Get this Crap
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Everyone wants to be chief of the remote control it’s the ultimate household goal, and when you finally grasp the cool hard plastic in your hands it feels, well er actually, it feels a little disappointing! For such a sacred prize it looks more than a tad mundane. But fear not, some genius folk have seriously sexed up the humble remote! This bad boy is an accelerometer controlled universal remote control / kick arse magic wand that responds to your flicks and swishes to change channel / volume and so forth – Fuck Harry Potter – you are the Wandmaster!
£49.95 Get this Crap
ALSO: Magic Remote Control
If you ever want to see your Cheese again meet me at the old (sofa) fort at 1800 hours. Be alone. Bring chocolate.
£7.95 Get this Crap
For many years the world has spoken in hushed tones of the second coming, the day when the divine becomes corporal once more and shines its transformative light upon our lives, now at last it is upon us.
£429 – £699 Get this Crap
$499 – $829 Get this Crap
Option 1: Pick Prospective Sexual Partner up. Take Prospective Sexual Partner to dinner at fancy restaurant. Make Prospective Sexual Partner laugh with your wit and charm. Complement Prospective Sexual Partner in a sincere and unique manner. Move on to an intimate bar. Buy Prospective Sexual Partner a few cocktails. Ask Prospective Sexual Partner if they want to go back to yours for cup of coffee. Make coffee. Make it clear you don’t give a damn about the coffee. Make move.
Option 2: Invite Prospective Sexual Partner round. Light candle.
Which do you prefer?
£12.95 Get this Crap
So having a pet is nice, but lets face it unless Tiddles is a Puma or Rover’s half wolf your creature’s hardly going to blow anyones mind – unless you invest in a R2 Fish Scool! Now you can teach your little flipper to dribble, fetch and shoot hoops – fuck the job and mortgage – take this badboy on the road to fame and fortune!
WARNING Purchasing this item decreases users sex appeal (But who needs sex when your goldfish limbos!)
£14.99 Get this Crap
$29.99 Get this Crap
